24 Questions Americans have for the Brits (Buzzfeed response 2)

So following from yesterdays blog, my girlfriend decided to pose these questions from a similar Buzzfeed article to me today... This was the result.

24 Questions Americans have for the British

1. Why do you call cookies biscuits?

Because they are biscuits. If they don’t have chocolate chips in them then they're biscuits.

 Better yet, what do you call America's version of biscuits?

Are they those things we had at the barbeque? Scones. Those are scones.

2. Why would you eat something called spotted dick?

‘Cause it tastes real good.

3. In fact, why are most of your food names sexual?

They aren't all like that, just the few that make it out of the country.

4. Why do your judges still wear powdered wigs?

I dunno, I just think they're all still stuck in the 1800's.

5. Why do you call diapers "nappies"?

Dunno, just the way it’s always been.

(Authors note: I notice a trend.)

6. How many times do you need to be reminded to mind the damn gap?

Thanks to the American's, we have to put warnings up on everything to avoid getting sued. Also, the gap is scary.

7. Why do you drink tea in literally every situation?

‘Cause tea is just...tea is just right for everything.

8. How on earth do you deal with the weather?

Where I live it's not too bad, it's just dull. It can also be unpredictable and impossible to get used to though.

9. Why do you all strip down when you see the slightest bit of sun?

If your summer was only three weeks long, you would want to make the most of it too.

10. Why do you think Marmite tastes good?

I don’t. Marmite is a vile concoction that should never be touched, much less eaten.

11. Why do you have two taps instead of one?

Not many do, but some people just do it for tradition.

(AN: Treeeeeend)

12. What the hell is the deal with Cricket?

I dunno, I played it in primary school and I had no idea what I was doing. It seems like the only people that watch it are 50 year olds anyway.

13. Why do you lose your accents when you sing?

Not all artists lose it, it just seems to be a pop thing. They want to be successful in America where the money is, so they tone down the accents a bit. Most artists just want to get the fuck out of the UK anyway so it works.

14. Speaking of accents, why do you have SOOO many?

My personal theory is that it's from way back when the counties were all separate and kind of did their own thing and it just stuck.

15. How come your headlines are on a whole different level?

Because wouldn't you buy that newspaper?

16. Why are you all so stoic?

I dunno, it's just the way were brought up but it’s starting to change.

17. How many BBC channels do you have?

Christ. I think there's five.

18. Why do you think men wearing dresses is the epitome of comedy?

Cause it's just funny. And they all have a good time.

19. What do you want to be called? Britain, Great Britain, England, the United Kingdom or the U.K.?

Oh boy, here we go. To my understanding, England is a part of Britain and Britain is the combination of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. And the United Kingdom is what Britain combined with all the other territories.

20. How come you're so obsessed with the royal family?

We’re not really, that seems to be an American thing.

21. Why do you pluralize "math"?

Because the full word is "Mathematics" which is plural so the shortened word should be pluralized too.

22. How is this a condiment?

Cause what the fuck else are you supposed to eat with your roast lamb?

23. Why do you call your lines "queues"?

Because it's just the word for it.

24. And finally, how come your cursing and slang is so much better than ours?

Cause we're just a bit more bloody inventive than you lot, 'int we?